The Bench

A couple of months ago, Sonja and I decided to have a memorial bench put up for her late mother Amy in one of the two places where she liked to observe nature. The choices were either The Parklands or Bernheim Forest.

Both had their merits and she liked them both about the same. The deciding factor was a story I related to Sonja about a drive her Mom and I made shortly before she went into the hospital for the final time.

It was fall and I would take Amy on car rides 3-4 times a week back then. The process was to load up her oxygen and other necessities and then take off on a 2-3 hour trip...driving rural areas and enjoying the scenery or going to one of the area parks or preserves.

One of these afternoon involved driving to Paul's Point in Bernheim and watching the leaves change
in the valley below. We had sandwiches, she was breathing pretty good that day and really didn't want to leave...but it was getting dark and Amy did not like to be on the road (driving or as a passenger) at night.

It was a good day for her. Drives helped release some of the anxiety attacks she suffered from at the end. The struggle to breath is a scary and trepidation mind process. I remember the asthma attacks I had as a child. Middle of the night panic, relieved by inhaler or Adrenalin shots...depending on the severity.

Sonja loves that view for the meadow at the summit of the point as well and we inquired about the spot for a bench. We notified relatives as well. We ordered the bench and a plate to go on it.

The bench was placed on Wednesday 23rd. No ceremony or formalities. We made the 22 mile drive to Bernheim and took a few pictures. Sonja is musing over maybe spreading some of Amy's ashes in the area. The view is beautiful.. A good place for reflection, meditation or just letting your mind go while gazing into the hills and valley across the way.

I think Amy, even in her sometimes grouchy way, would approve. Maybe she'll look down upon the area and remember that good afternoon there. Maybe there is peace and comfort for her now...the struggle with breath, facing death and so much more she wanted to do. Time ran out on her. Time will run out on us all eventually.

Slowly, we adjust. I spend most day out at her house...going through the process of packing boxes,..going through paperwork...room by room getting the house packed up and ready to be sold eventually. There is 50+ years of accumulation, memories, mementos, junk, treasures and items to be determined upon. Sonja helps when she can. Final decisions on placement rest with her.

I think back to those drives, those places we went, those conversations we had and I hope they were of some comfort and relief for her. She had gotten to where she hated being in the house. For what reasons she'd never say...but while able, she would jump at the opportunity to escape it for a few hours.

She has escaped it, and the worldly day-by-day trappings for good, now. I hope she is in a place where there is peace.

Louisville radio needs more than just The Cardinal Couple Radio Hour

Cards Radio 790 and 93.9 The Ville have 336 hours of broadcast time available to them each week. Additionally, 680 AM also has separate shows than 93.9...so add a few more hours of unique broadcasting time that is available. 

None of the three have any shows about women's sports at UofL.

Howie Lindsey is nice enough to dedicate 15 minutes a week to CARDINAL COUPLE to let us discuss women's sports with him on the Howie Show. Jody Demling mentions women's sports almost every day on his Cardinal Insider program on WKRD 790. 93.9 also offers The Jeff Walz show once a week during basketball season. 

There is a ton of network programming on each channel. There are other locally based broadcasts that feature other websites and men's sports. There are idiots, braggarts, self-proclaimed authorities and high and mighty, pompous prognosticators on the air. There are horse racing shows on Cards Radio and The Ville.

But no women's sports shows.

I took the issue to 93.9 programming director Drew Deener. I got a nice "thanks...but no thanks" brief reply. I asked a "higher up" at Clear Channel about the issue. This person's response (I'm with-holding the name and gender...because it would surprise a lot of you) was that women's sports don't create advertising dollars and Clear Channel is ALL about the money. 

I've mentioned it to Louisville coaches, administrators and athletic department personnel. They all lament that lack of coverage but don't have the "kryptonite" to bring it to fruition.

We appreciate our chance to bring you The Cardinal Couple Radio Hour each week at 100.9 WCHQ - Crescent Hill Radio. We're optimistic that the station will double it's listening radius soon and we might be able to be heard in Prospect, Fern Creek, Fairdale and Valley Station. It's a show we'll never abandon.

But is the prospect of having a one-hour show a week devoted to Louisville women's sports so unappealing that the two channels in town that are sports-oriented won't touch it?

Hell, we're not asking for prime time on WHAS, WAMZ, WQMF or WAKY...just an hour somewhere on a station that gets decent arbitron ratings. 

You can voice your thoughts on this by sending a few e-mails if you think UofL women's sports are worthy of a show on 680, 790 or 93.9. 

Let Drew Deener know. Let John Salzman know. Let Tom Jurich and Dr. Jim Ramsey know. It's time for this glass ceiling to end.

We don't care if it's us or someone else. Just give the women a break here. Equality and fairness aside...there are some wonderful things going on in women's sports in this town. 

Mainstream media needs to recognize and give some time up for it.

A Christmas Story

Many years ago, I lived in Indianapolis for a few years. It was a job that brought me there...out of college for a few years and way before I met Sonja. I was fairly young, full of ambition and lived life with abandon and fearlessness. I had a girlfriend, a local bar I hung out at, a group of guys I played softball and bowled with and a nice apartment with great neighbors. 

I would come back to Louisville occasionally to visit family and friends...weekend stays mostly...crashing at my parents' house for a couple of nights and driving back to Indy on Sunday night. 

I planned to come in for Christmas one of those years...the plan was to attend a Christmas Eve party and then spend Christmas with my parents...heading back to Indy the following day. We worked a half-day that Christmas Eve Day and several of us met at a local establishment after work to have lunch and a few beverages. 

I hadn't done any Christmas shopping yet. Back then, my protocol was to go out on Christmas Eve Day, buy a few spur-of-the moment gifts and then distribute them to friends in Indy...taking the rest back to Louisville for family and friends. 

After a few beverages, I said my goodbyes to the gathering and went about the process of shopping. There was a big mall near our place of work and I worked my way through it among the hordes of last-minute shoppers. I then went to visit several friends, dropped off my gifts, had a few more beverages and prepared to head south to Louisville. 

I stopped at a beverage shoppe near my apartment to pick up a few items for the drive and was casually chatting to the cashier when my eye caught a rather shabbily dressed young woman standing in the wine section. I remarked something...I don't remember what...to the cashier and she revealed she had been watching her...a potential shop-lifter in her opinion. I remember wishing her well with that and left. 

Sitting in my car, I decided to watch and see if there would be any excitement inside the shop. After a few minutes, the woman went to the door, was stopped, her bag searched and finally allowed to leave after a brief animated discussion. The woman walked outside, sat on a bench outside the store and...visibly trembling...reached into her bag and produced a pack of cigarettes. She lit one up and then put her head into her hands. She was crying. 

Something came over me. I sensed something was amiss here and exited the car. I approached her, she looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks and I asked if there was anything I could do for her. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and began her story. 

She was homeless. Things weren't working out with her parents. She was young and had left Chicago several months ago to live with a friend in hopes of finding a job in Indy. It didn't work out and the "friend" turned out to have bad intentions toward her. After beating beaten by him one evening she left, broke and without transportation. This had occurred several days ago and she had been wandering the streets since...with just a bag and the clothes on her body. She had been sleeping in an abandoned garage near the liquor store and asking people for food and money. She had collected very little. She was hungry, tired and had decided to steal a bottle of wine, get good and drunk and then step off a bridge down the street into an icy creek below...but changed her mind at the last minute. She said there was something that she needed to do first.

I listened to the story. I made a decision. I asked her if there was anyone she knew she could stay with. She thought about that a minute and said that her parents would probably take her back in but she was ashamed to call them. I asked her name. It was Mary. She was a beautiful 19 yr. old girl with long but matted brown hair and a cute, turned up nose. 

I had plans. I had things to do. I thought about if I was in the same position. I made a decision.

I told her that suicide was a coward's way out and if it took the rest of the day, week or year....I would not let her do such a thing. I asked her if she would like a ride to Chicago. To go home. She was surprised. She asked if I was going there. I told her I had no pressing commitments and that I would like to take her to get her some food and drive her back to her home. 

She had no idea who I was. Yet, she put her trust in me. She said she would like that. I drove to a fast-food place and told her to order whatever she wanted. We got the food, she ravenously devoured it as I got on I-65 for the three-hour drive to the Windy City.

Along the way, I encouraged her to place a call to her parents...to tell them she was coming home. She was hesitant at first but finally agreed to do so and we took an exit and stopped at a phone booth. I gave her change, she made the call...spoke for quite some time and got back in the car. She was smiling. She said they had been very worried about her and wanted her home. 

As we drove, we talked. I don't recall the whole conversation but I remember parts. She had longed freedom and independence. She had graduated from high school but was stuck in a dead-end job in Chicago and decided it was time to move on. The guy she went to stay with had been a boyfriend in the past. He had changed. She spoke about the abuse, the forced sex, the beatings and the degradation. 

When we got to the rest stop near Chicago, I suggested she maybe wash up a bit. After that, we continued on. She was a delight to talk to...and she innocently inquired what my plans originally had been. I told her that I was headed to see my parents but it could wait. She got a bit nervous as we turned onto the street where her parents lived. She asked me to stop. She had a cigarette and asked me what she should say to them. I remember saying to her something along the lines of just being honest and frank. 

We pulled in the driveway. We sat in the car. She looked at me and asked if I would walk her to the door. A cold, blustery wind greeted us as we walked the sidewalk to the front door. It opened...and a man, women and little girl came running out. Embraces followed and I watched with a feeling of satisfaction. The man approached me. A short, heavy-set man with a receding hairline. He extended a hand and thanked me for bringing his daughter home. He invited me in but I declined...thanked him but told him I had to be going. 

Mary looked at me with eyes full of tears and gratitude. She asked how she could ever repay me for the trip. I smiled and told her that just seeing the family reunion was payment enough. She asked how she could get in touch with me. I dug out my wallet and handed her a business card. 

They gathered around me and hugged me. I looked at the little girl and told her to have a very, merry Christmas. She looked up at me and said:

"I will. You brought my mommy home." 

A daughter that hadn't come up once in the trip.

I headed to Louisville, arriving at the very end of the party I had planned on attending. I told my story. I slept very well that night in my old bed at my parents. 

I heard from Mary about a month later. She was going to enroll in a community college and try to start anew. She was working part-time as a waitress at a restaurant. She wondered if I would be available for a visit. She was coming back to Indy to collect her belongings but was afraid to confront the asshole alone. I assured her that me and several big, strong softball-playing friends of mine would be glad to accompany her. 

And, it went without a hitch. The asshole wasn't even there..had left the front door unlocked. That disappointed me and my friends. We were ready to apply some "frontier justice"...

Before she returned to Chicago, I asked if she would like to dine with me. She agreed enthusiastically. Dinner at my place. We combined our cooking skills to make a wonderful meal, had a few glasses of wine and I suggested she sleep in the spare bedroom and make the drive home the next morning. She called to tell parents and her daughter. 

Early that morning, asleep in my bed...I felt a brief rustle, someone climbing in and felt an arm drape over me.

"I've decided how I can repay you for all your kindness." she whispered in my ear. 

I won't go into details. You can probably guess what happened. It was a surprise but loving, sensual, delightful and ...repetitive. When she departed later that morning, she smiled at me and said that there were few heroes in this world...but I was hers and she would forever be in debt to me. We kissed and she drove away. 

That was in the 1980's. I left Indy a few years later and returned to Louisville, where I've been ever since.

Today, Mary is married, has three more children...all four of them grown and out in the world making their way... and a husband of 30+ years who is a truck driver. She got her degree as a medical assistant and works in the office of a Chicago pediatrician. I get a call from her each year around Christmastime. She sends photos of the kids and we also stay in touch via the INTERNET. We never have seen each other again...but she has a 34 year-old son, named Paul that has Sykes-like features and looks. 

I asked her about it once...in an e-mail, whether this child was mine or not. Her response was {paraphrased...I have forgotten the original words} :

"Miracles happen. Paul is a wonderful young man. I can't say for sure whether he is yours or not...I met Jerry about a week after visiting you one day, when I was working at the   restaurant, we hit it off and we were "active" pretty quickly. Paul and all my children are greatly loved by Jerry and I. Jerry knows nothing about our night. He is Paul's dad. He knows you as a stranger who provided kindness when I was at the lowest point in my life. We'll leave it there. " 

We talked today. She expressed sorrow over the death of my mother-in-law. Her mother isn't doing too well and is in a nursing home. We shared stories. She was having the kids and her Dad come to the house. They would go visit her mom later. The conversation was heart-felt. As always, we vowed to get together soon. Someday, perhaps, we will. 

A random encounter. An act of kindness. Maybe life-saving, certainly life-changing.

We do what we can in this world. Sometimes it makes a difference, sometimes not. it is all part of the plan, the destiny and the course we navigate. Sometimes, we know not why...but...it is all connected and all relevant. 

Merry Christmas. 

BREEDERS CUP SATURDAY SELECTIONS

SATURDAY RECAP:

WE gave you six out of the nine winners in our Saturday Selections. We kept it simple and just did win wagers on our top four picks. We lost about $30 there...but Paulie and the consortium he wagered with won a PK3 worth almost $200 and a PK4 that yielded almost $800. 
 


BREEDERS CUP SATURDAY SELECTIONS 

( A Friday recap. We gave you three winners out of the four races and a nice PK 3. We barely missed the PK 4 and also had two exactas. LEt's hope the success continues today!)

OK. The smoke has cleared, wadded-up sheets of paper taken to the garbage can and I've had enough coffee (and other stuff) to float the QE II. 

With no further adieu...Paulie's PICKS for Saturday BREEDERS CUP

HANDS WINERY JUVENILE FILLIES

10 - SONGBIRD
8 - DOTHRAKI'S QUEEN
7 - NICKNAME
2- TAP TO IT

Longshot Special: 4- MA CAN DO IT..

Notes: SONGBIRD has done little wrong in her promising career and Mike Smith is "money" on a live one like her.

10-8-7-2

TURF SPRINT 

3 - UNDRAFTED
5- LADY SHIPMAN
2- BOBBY'S KITTEN
12- READY FOR RYE

Longshot Special : 2 - BOBBY'S KITTEN

Notes: Six furlongs on the turf is where this sprinter belongs and will give owner Wes Welker a chance to "make it rain" up in the Clubhouse. Dettori gets the ride. Dangerous.

3-5-2-12

FILLY AND MARE SPRINT

11 - JUDY THE BEAUTY
10 - KISS TO REMEMBER
2 - DAME DOROTHY
14 - CAVORTING

Longshot Special : 9 - SWEET WHISKEY

JUDY THE BEAUTY won this race last year and gets Dettori on board. Honestly, this is a tough race...if you've got the "pockets"...hit the "ALL" button here for PK3 and PK4. 



11-10-2-14

FILLY AND MARE TURF

11 - STEPHANIE'S KITTEN
7 - WATSDACHANCES
12- SECRET GESTURE
3 - LEGATISSIMO

Longshot special:  7- WATSDACHANCES

The top three I have selected here finished within a head of each other last time they faced...Watsdachances getting the win after a injury/objection. STEPHANIE'S KITTEN got checked hard in the stretch and with a clean trip today...she'll purr to the line first. 

11-7-12-3

SPRINT

5 - RUNHAPPY
13 - PRIVATE ZONE
10 - SALUTOS AMIGOS
8 - WIDE DUDE

Longshot Special : 2- KOBE'S BACK

Notes: 4 for 4 and Prado on board? I hope she 'runs happy' and I can get 3-1 on this one.  

5-13-10-8

MILE

9 - ESOTERIQUE
7 - TEPIN
5 - IMPPASSABLE
1 - GRAND ARCH

Longshot Special : 4 - MONDIALISTE

Notes: I could easily change my mind here and go with TEPIN but European horses do well in turf mile races and ESOTERIQUE stays just off the pace and ram-jets home in the final quarter. Good enough for me. 

9-7-5-1

JUVENILE

7 - BRODY'S CAUSE
3 - GREENPOINTCRUSADER
12 - SWIPE
10 - RAILS

Longshot Special : 5- COCKED AND LOADED

Notes: BRODY'S CAUSE looks ready and will like the short Keeneland stretch

7-3-12-10

TURF

7 - BIG BLUE KITTEN
6 - TWILIGHT ECLIPSE
4 - SLUMBER
1 - GOLDEN HORN

Longshot Special: 11 - RED RIFLE

Notes: Tough to separate these four. I'll take a stand with BIG BLUE KITTEN but any of these four wouldn't surprise

7-6-4-1

CLASSIC

2 - KEEN ICE
4 - AMERICAN PHAROAH
1 - TONALIST
3 - FROSTED

Longshot Special: 5 - GLENEAGLES

Notes: KEEN ICE did it at Saratoga over AMERICAN PHAROAH and I think the horse is still peaking. As Steely Dan says..."get back Jack and do it again."

2-4-1-3

Good luck today and enjoy the racing! 

paulie
xxxxx

Friday Breeders Cup Selections -- 2015

FOUR RACES START BREEDERS CUP FOR FRIDAY

RECAP: We had three winners in the four races and hit a PK 3. Narrowly missed the late PK 4. Based on that, we'll look forward to a much harder card Saturday.


Four of the 13 Breeders Cup races will take place on Friday. 

Here's who we like:

BREEDERS CUP JUVENILE TURF

(13) Cymric has ruled in European racing and the Euros do well in Breeders Cup Juvenile Turf Races. (7) Ray's The Bar was blocked in the stretch in his last while charging hard and will improve. Castellano returns and that's a big plus. (8) Airoforce took her last at Keeneland in impressive fashion and Leparoux returns as the rider. (3) Manhattan Dan should be in the mix when they turn for home and should appreciate the distance. Albarado rides well on the Keeneland Turf. 

Longshot? (12) Camelot Kitten is as good as any of these

13-7-8-3

LAS VEGAS DIRT MILE

We're trying to beat the probable odds-on betting favorite here and (9) Tapiture is our choice to do it. He ran second in this race last year and Goldencents...who outlasted him...isn't in this race . Let's take a chance. (3) Liam's Map will get the betting interests and Castellano/Pletcher look awfully tough in this spot. (8) Wicked Strong should be moving well at the end and if the speed falls apart...who knows? (5) Lea could be dangerous here also and can't be counted out. Lezcano/Mott do well at distance affairs. 

Longshot? Look at (1) Red Vine if you're getting offered 10-1 or longer. Joel Rosario aboard...enough said  

9-3-8-5

JUVENILE FILLIES TURF

A real tough call here for me between (8) Harmonize and (7) Sapphire Kitten. They ran 1-2 at Keeneland earlier this month with just a head up for Harmonize at the wire making the difference, (4) Catch A Glimpse looms as the main threat if these two falter and (10) Illuminate is a nice looking European filly that gets Frankie Dettori's services. 

Longshot? (14) Last Waltz gets a rough post position but Castellano knows the track and the horse.

8-7-4-10

LONGINES DISTAFF

(7) Wedding Toast looks to be the best, especially after her last effort in New York. (8) Curalina chased her home in that one and will probably do the same in this one for Todd Pletcher. (4) Stopchargingmaria is another Pletcher horse that will run well here. (12) Got Lucky has a tough post to overcome but rates a legitimate shot and is another Pletcher horse. 

Longshot? (14) Sheer Drama another runner that got killed by the post draw but if the odds hit 10-1 on her, I'll take a shot. 

(I loved Untapable in this race but Steve Asmussen scratched her because of a fever.)  

7-8-4-12

Bet 'em however you feel...I'll try a few exacta and trifecta combinations and PK3 and PK4 attempts. 


Good luck on these four Friday races...we'll be back Thursday with a look at the nine Saturday Breeders Cup events. 

PAULIE
xxxxxx

On Death and Acceptance

For the third time in my life...I am dealing with the death of a family member. This time it is my mother-in-law. Diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, her days are numbered and any chance of "beating it" are non-existent. At this point, it's a matter of when.

To see the change in Amy (or Toots...as I call her) is devastating.

The frequent gasping for breath due to her diminished lung capacity. The end of her independence and freedom to do what she wants whenever she wants. The anxiety attacks because of the fear and the physical restraints. The long hospital stay and subsequent rehabilitation process.

Death sucks this way.

I went through it with both my parents. I guess I'm prepared for it. My wife Sonya went through both of those long, slow and cruel cessations with me but this one is different. It's her Mom.

Hospice has been mentioned. She has a list of medications and treatment the length of a grocery shopping list. Home health care and breathing treatments. You get the picture.

Still, in this rapid decline and slow deterioration...there remains a fiercely independent and stubborn woman. Maybe it's because she has been on her own since the early eighties. Maybe it's because she refuses to go gently into that good night. For 35 years...she set the schedule. Now, the schedule is set by her abilities...not her desires.

 It's hard to watch. It's hard to be strong. It's hard to accept...but eventually that long train comes around the bend. That final card is played and that last light is turned off.

I worked 40 hours a week in 1998 and 2006 when my parents passed away. Drove in from Lexington to spend the final five hours of my mother's life in a hospital bed. Her final words were:

"I think I'm ready to go to the mountains."

The final thing she heard was my father talking to her on the phone. She sighed...and the breathing stopped.

My Dad's ordeal was longer and more painful to endure. A trip to the emergency room because of bowel blockage. An admission to the hospital where pneumonia and sepsis set in. An induced coma and those final hours when he was brought out of it to see if he could breath and to see if there was any recognition left. He could not and there was not.

I don't want to go that way. Hanging on, lingering on. Slowly slipping away.

And, I won't.

When that curtain is opened and I receive the news that my performance will be ending soon...I will double the efforts to live. The bucket list will be enacted. I will go out, if at all possible, with the same bravado, swagger and amicable demeanor that has shaped these almost 60 years.

I just hope that final chapter is a long time away. There is so much more I want to see, to experience.

Sykes men (my father, uncles) have all lived into their nineties plus. I want to join that club.

Paulie

What to do...what to do?

The outcry from the Louisville football fan base about the 0-2 start is a classic example of delayed reaction and angst about a situation that didn't look pretty weeks before the season started. 

Add the following ingredients, mix thoroughly and place upon a combustible fan base until the concoction reached a rapid boil. Then, serve liberally over the heads of the so-called "journalistic experts" who portend to have visionary insights and knowledge of a football program that the coaching staff can't even figure out. A few examples:

1) Eeeny, meeny, miney...moe?

Four quarterbacks emerged from the spring practices and the rumors were that a fifth quarterback would arrive as a freshman and surpass them all. One left, the freshman eventually rose to the top of the class and now the situation is up in the air.  Clemson looms ahead and Bobby has no clue who to use. 

2) Block somebody...anybody

The offensive line is a mess. Missed blocks, failure to protect the quarterbacks, no effective run blocking...this only compounded by the uncertain status of who they might be blocking for under snap...it's a perfect storm of confusion. 

3) Tackle somebody

The defensive lost nine starters from last year and, although they have had flashes of success....allowing 30+ points to two consecutive opponents isn't a sign they "get it" yet. Hitting opponents is one thing...wrapping them up for tackles is quite another and this bunch needs to watch a few Lawrence Taylor or Deacon Jones films. 

Louisville will go to 0-3 Thursday night against Clemson...the preseason ACC pick...and it could get ugly in Papa John's. If the Cards can't get the basics in fundamentals down, the cry for "Fire Bobby Petrino" rhetoric will get stronger. 

Basketball season is eight weeks away. 

paulie